--  21  --

 

 

     With a sudden and crushing certainty, the hero of this story became aware that all of the women he would ever fall in love with were destined to remain forever out of his reach. He spent a long time trying to be interested in uninteresting women who were interested in him, but it always ended in tears.

     One day, his mother said to him, "I'm getting pretty sick of this shit, waiting around for you to make me a goddamn grandkid." So, the hero of this story committed all of his time on the weekends of the following year constructing a boy out of used coffee cups and diet soda bottles he'd scavenged from the garbage cans of the New York City subway system.

     "Bottle Boy"-- as he came to be known-- was a charming, handsome fellow, except during the syrupy-hot days of the loathsome heart of summer. He was well liked and popular, though he struggled with algebra and failed to make the cut for the track team. The hero was quite proud of Bottle Boy, nonetheless.

     Friends and acquaintances of the hero frequently offered him tremendous gifts in exchange for their own Bottle Boys, but for unknown reasons, the hero was never able to successfully recreate his spectacular experiment. International corporations approached him with licensing contracts and visions of global franchises, but they always crawled back disappointedly as shamed dogs in expensive suits to their glass dens and palaces of fear.

     The times grew thin and dark. The bills grew fangs as the money withered. The hero, bent and lined as a map, was forced to recycle bits of Bottle Boy for meals of cold, unleavened bread and tepid lemonade.

     At last, lying upon the coarse mattress of his debtor's prison cot before the looming gates of shadowed death, the hero and Bottle Boy-- now a mere toothy ring from a twist-off plastic cap-- had the following conversation:

     "Bottle Boy?"

     "Yes?"

     "Soon I shall pass from this world. I am called home."

     "Yes. I have long toiled with the fear that this hated day would come. Would that only the meat of you were this firm, good plastic, a malleable, stubborn thing in this river, this black and bitter gnawing we call time."

     "Bottle Boy?"

     "Yes?"

     "Do not forget me, Bottle Boy."

     "Never," said Bottle Boy. "Though the ages shall weaken me, turn my gloss to brittleness and toss this tender mortal coil which thou hast given me to the great, serrated edges of the world, you, my kind-hearted and noble sir, shall forever burn tall and warm within this untouchable cell, this soft and gentle island of memory."

     And with these words, the hero's spirit rose and excused itself from the dining table of the living.



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