|
Spider-Man went down and under the subway to hang out with his only true friend in the world, a woolly old codger named Scrags. "Hiya, Spider-Man," said Scrags. "You bring me my Cheetos?" "Yeah, I brought you your Cheetos," said Spider-Man, handing the bag to Scrags. "Why you looking so blue, Spider-Man? I thought you were going to the fancy art opening at the gallery you was talkin' about." "Yeah, well, I guess I just didn't have it in me to go after I clobbered the holy hell out of that sixteen-year old rapist and turned him over to the cops. Besides, most people only go to those gallery openings to show off their new shoes and drink free booze." "Ha! Ain't that the truth," said Scrags. "Hey, don't hog the bag, man. I know you're hungrier than hell and all, but pass a few over to your 'friendly neighborhood Spider-Man,' for Christ's sake, will ya'?" "Brother, you need to figure out a new catch phrase. How long you been using that one?" "Aw, who the hell knows. Decades, I suppose. Got any suggestions?" "Hmmm. Maybe. How about something like 'Spider-Man is strong enough to tear your arms out at the roots, so don't break the law, bastards.'" "Too literal." "Alright. Let me think. Say, these are some damn good Cheetos, Spidey. You get 'em from that Korean place I was tellin' you about?" "No, I got 'em at that same old Arab place by my place I always go to." "You really oughtta try that Korean place." "Yeah, I know." "How about this one, Spidey. How about 'gentlemen prefer blondes, but Spider-Man digs leggy redheads. Plus, he's single again.'" "That's kind of snappy." "Think so? You like it?" "I do." A twitchy rat skittered momentarily into a dim patch of orange light. It grabbed a bit of decaying food with its diseased mouth and disappeared into the maw of a drainage pipe. Scrags whipped a Pepsi can at the pipe and it rang like a wounded bell. The two old friends laughed like naughty boys. "I sure miss you, Spider-Man. You should come down to my penthouse more often." "Yeah, I miss you too, Scrags. We sure used to have a lot of fun back in the days when you were still a State Representative, going ice fishing in the winter,… collecting old coins along the beach in the summer…" "Yeah, but this ain't so bad, Spider-Man." "Yeah, this ain't so bad, Scrags." "Christ, I wish these two clowns would dummy up and move along so's a feller could eat in peace," thought the rat.
|
|